Archive - June, 2011

Very Superstitious

I don’t write with blue pens.  I’ll go out of my way to find a black one.  It’s not like blue ink is an inferior color to black, it’s just that writing in blue ink feels wrong.  It’s not that blue ink has always felt wrong,  I used pens with blue ink in high school.

Academically speaking, High School didn’t go well for me.  I was that guy who came to class without a pen, or paper, or bagel.  One day in Junior College I wrote something good for English class (yes, in 1991 computers were still very War Games) and it happened to be written in black ink.  I liked the way the teacher’s red marks looked against my black words.  When it came time to write again, I made sure I used a black pen… for luck.

What’s funny is that I don’t consider myself superstitious.  Even though I will waste several minutes a week searching for a black pen, I think of other people as having superstitions because I don’t have “a lot” of them.  The truth though is that regardless of how many superstitious beliefs or behaviors we possess, each of us is superstitious.

Superstition, in essence, is a credible belief that isn’t born out of reason or knowledge.  Superstitions sound true and feel accurate, but are not based on fact.  For instance:

Hay Fever has nothing to do with hay or, wait for it, fever.  The usage of the term “fever” to describe malady, and the arrival of seasonal allergies coinciding with the summer hay harvest led pre-modern mankind to describe the adverse affects of pollen laden air as “Hay Fever”.

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Caramel Gold Rush

The phrase, “Worth its weight in gold” is completely overused.  I’ve heard it applied to everything from denim to sparkling cider.

When was the last time that you experienced something so good that someone could have weighed it, then demand payment based on the weight of the item multiplied by the price of gold per ounce?

When you think about it in those terms it becomes difficult to find something that is wonderful, yet not so weighty that it becomes prohibitively expensive.  For example:  I purchased a 12″ Macintosh Powerbook back in 2005.  It was the pinnacle of compact computing, and the best technology purchase I ever made.  Unfortunately, 6 years ago the lightest computer on the planet still weighed 4.9 pounds.  Using the price of Gold per ounce from the year 2005 ($427 per oz.) we can estimate a purchase price of nearly $34,160.00 (shipping included).  While a great computer, it wasn’t worth a year’s salary.

While you may not be willing to pay it, The 4 oz Magnum Ice Cream bar absolutely tastes like $1,500.  It’s that good.  If you think I’m crazy, try finding the Double Caramel bar at your local supermarket.  Right next to the fully stocked Dove and Haagen Dazs Bars you’ll discover an empty shelf with a tag that reads: “Magnum bars, $5.99, box of 3.”

You read that right, on sale you’ll pay two dollars per bar.  That my friends is a deal because they usually cost $3 per.  How can this be?  I’ll tell you, Magnum Bars are the smoothest ice cream you’ve ever had, dipped in the finest, silkiest, Belgian chocolate you’ve ever tasted.  In the case of the Double Caramel, that bar is additionally dipped in two layers of caramel, then dipped again in chocolate.

You’re probably uncontrollably wondering, “If this is true, then why haven’t I heard of this before now?” while salivating like one of Pavlov’s finest.

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The Death Of Us All

In December of 2001 I drove my car to see the Fellowship of the Ring.  I bought a tank full of gas and a full price admission for $22.85.  I was cautious yet hopeful because the year in film had not been kind.  Sure kids got the 1st Shrek, 1st Harry Potter, and Monsters Inc, but adults got The Mummy Returns, Hannibal, Jurassic Park III, Pearl Harbor, and wait for it… Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes.

It was the summer of patriotic bombs, Indiana Jones rip offs, brains for dinner, and Aperham Lincoln.

If it’s surprising that the first film in Jackson’s Rings Trilogy will be 10 years old this year, consider how much has changed since The Fellowship was released 3 months after America was reminded that the world was still a dark and dangerous place:  Gasoline and milk are now roughly the same price per gallon, everyone owns an iPod, and Peter Jackson’s weight is more Gollum than Gimli.

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