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Spice Up That Party!


Fun Things to do during your Super Bowl Party

If this Super bowl is a close game I believe the Seahawks will win.  In most cases this will not only be fun for most regional watchers, but the excitement will be entertaining for the national audience.

However, if this game turns into another Super Bowl blowout, not only will the Broncos be on high side, but your Northwest Super Bowl Party is going to need a pick me up before people start heading home.

I’m hoping that you won’t need to use this, but in case Manning’s boys go up big in the 2nd quarter, here are 4 things you can do to keep your party from turning on Michael Crabtree.


Ask watchers to pick a team, then correctly spell these players names:

Breno Giacomini
Steven Hauschka
Lemuel Jeanpierre
Paul McQuistan

Demaryus Thomas
Zane Beadles
Duke Ihenacho
Quanterus Smith

Know your Shon/Shawn/Shaun!

The Super Bowl features an epic number of Shawns, can you tell them apart? (Click on the question to see the answer)

 Which Shon/Shawn/Shaun loves Skittles?

A.) Knowshon  Moreno

B.) Marshawn Lynch

C.) Shaun Phillips

D.) DeShawn Shead


Which Shon/Shawn/Shaun went to Portland State University?

A.) Knowshon  Moreno

B.) Marshawn Lynch

C.) Shaun Phillips

D.) DeShawn Shead


Which Shon/Shawn/Shaun cries during National Anthems?

A.) Knowshon  Moreno

B.) Marshawn Lynch

C.) Shaun Phillips

D.) DeShawn Shead


Which Shon/Shawn/Shaun caught passes from Drew Brees in college?

A.) Knowshon  Moreno

B.) Marshawn Lynch

C.) Shaun Phillips

D.) DeShawn Shead

The Super Bowl features a number of Gender ambiguous names.
Guess if the name belongs to a player or a cheerleader? (Click to reveal)

Caylin Hauptmann

Toni Basil

Christine Michael

Britton Colquitt

Sandy Olsson

Kayvon Webster

Quinn Fabray

Percy Harvin

C.J. Anderson

Kelly Kapowski

Sione Fua

Blake Lively

Paris Lenon

Make Your Own Guacamole

Since you never know how the game will go, being prepared for the uncertainties means having something fun to do until the commercials come on.

For me, the only thing certain about this Sunday’s Super Bowl is that I’m going to be seated in front of a television, eating about a gallon and a half of guacamole.

And no, the Guacamole won’t come from the grocer’s cooler.

I grew up in a region where avocados actually do grow on trees and Abuelitas pass out love by passing down recipes.

At an early age I discovered that there are essentially two types of guacamole: The kind that contains everything and the kitchen sink, and the kind that lives and dies on the strength of it’s avocados.

While a multitude of vegetables can go into a lot of admirable and fanciful avocado dips, all truly gorgeous Mexican recipes need very few… wait for it… “ingreeedients”.

In my experience the same people who like to overload their Thanksgiving stuffing with crunchy celery, water chestnuts, chewy giblets, and cranberries also like to pad their avocado mixtures with sour cream, onions, corn, beans, and tomatoes.

Unfortunately, grabbing the Corn Salsa and the Pico De Gallo and blending them into the Guac not only leads to an eventual ‘watery’ consistency, but it’s like mixing all of the options at the Golden Corral salad bar together and hitting it with some ranch dressing to hold it together.

 Green Jello and Garbanzo beans don’t belong in the same dish.

Here’s how to make your own simple yet delicious guac:

Mash a ripe avocado or two,
(Pretend your fork is Marshawn Lynch’s feet and stomp the avocado into the dish)

Hit it with a squeeze of cut lime,
(Yell, “Omaha, Omaha!”)

Stir in a just a pinch of garlic salt and cracked black peppercorns,
(Spin the whisk like Russell Wilson, AWAY from the line of scrimmage)

 Stab it with a sprig of Cilantro
(A small, Wes Welker Sized bunch)

 Dig in with a bag of Juanita’s chips
(If someone asks who was talking about Guacamole, shout “CRABTREE!”)

Have a great Super Bowl.

Buying the Meatballs


Before I got married I had two pieces of furniture: a rollaway bed and a dresser.  After I got married my wife decided that we needed furnishings.  I agreed with her, mostly because we could’ve played racquetball in our apartment.

The only problem with my wife’s idea is that we were poor, youth pastor of 20 kids poor.

My wife’s plan to overcome this was to drive three hours north of Portland to what was then the only Ikea store in the Northwest.  Since I had never been to an Ikea, this sounded like a great idea.

We borrowed a van and left the house at 6 AM.

We got home at 10 PM.

We were out of the house for 16 hours.

If you do the math you become painfully aware that that day I spent 10 hours wandering through carefully staged, scenario presentations of products named Lack and Gronkulla.

While we did manage to outfit our tiny home for less than $400, I have to admit that we played right into the cleverly designed post-American master planning of our Scandinavian lifestyle consultants…

We bought the meatballs.


Take It or Leave It


For the majority of children “Trick or Treating” is an opportunity to get their hands on a large quantity of a severely limited resource.

If your family was like mine, candy was both a metered and an elective provision. The fact that my parents didn’t grow up eating candy whenever they wanted strongly influenced their decision to raise me the same way.

These kind of things tend to run in the family.

It’s my experience that the typical kid gets about 1 hour per year to get their hands on as much candy as they can.

This is probably why they don’t spend much time at your door.

From the knock, to the “Trick or treat”, to the possible “Thank you”, the average kid is on my doorstep for less than 30 seconds.

Kids, for the most part, also do not have a discriminating palate when it comes to candy. If they are told that something is candy, they eat it. I’ve seen a kid put a Bit-O-Honey into their mouth, say “yuck” and then finish it off.


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