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The Oatmeal Raisin Connundrum

Anybody who’s ever flown from New York to Los Angeles has experienced what I like to call “Mealtime Dysmorphia”, this is a scientific term that I just made up to describe the strange scenario you find yourself in when your internal body clock (the clock God gave you) is between 3 to 5 hours ahead of the clocks we make up on our own.

For instance, after traveling east to west across 3 or more time zones, You wake up for breakfast, only to find that your body is craving lunch.

The problem is that no restuarant in the world begins serving lunch items until after 10:30 AM (I suspect that they all learned this from McDonalds).

For some reason our societal structure has determined that eating dinner food for breakfast is completely unacceptable in the way that eating breakfast food for dinner is deviously enticing; having waffles for dinner makes you a hero of whimsy, but go ahead and serve lasagna at 7 AM and see what kind of a social outcast you become.

So you begin wondering what food is available that qualifies as “breakfasty” enough to be served, yet “lunchy” enough to satisfy your ever expanding appetite for significant sustenance?

If you’re lucky it’s a Sunday and there’s somebody serving a brunch, but those don’t usually start till 10:30, and this means waiting until your body thinks it’s 1:30 before you get a shot at a slice ham at best.

I’ve found that your best bet in these scenarios (don’t even think about convenience store hot dogs) is to completely cast logic aside and begin eating cookies.

Think about it.

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Feeding Time!

By now you’ve probably heard the big news.

Alicia Silverstone chews up food and then feeds it to her baby.

and America is outraged!

Of course once I heard about this I needed to find out just what in the name of Spring’s first robin was going on with one of our nation’s finest bungie jumpers. I hopped on the google machine and pulled up an article about how Ms. Silverstone, “posted a video of herself feeding food she’d already chewed to her 10 month-old son Bear Blu.”

The food: miso soup, collards and radish steamed, then drizzled with flax oil, cast iron mochi with nori wrapped outside, and some grated daikon, was given to the child “bird style”, via the mouth. Alicia detailed this on her website “The Kind Life“.

The Kind Life offers suggestions and ideas to readers about lifestyle choices ranging from interior design to composting… for the environment.

“I fed Bear the mochi and a tiny bit of veggies from the soup…from my mouth to his.”

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The B.M.T. Stands For?

You and I have misjudged a sandwich or two in our lifetimes haven’t we?

I found out just the other day that I’m not too old for a P.B.&.J.. It was delicious!

I also learned recently that, for years, I’ve been misjudging the B.M.T. This is typical, but it certainly doesn’t have to happen.

The B.M.T. isn’t at all like the B.L.T.

You’ve no doubt had a B.L.T. sandwich. You probably found it to be delicious, mostly because of the B, the L, and the T.

If you’ve just recently arrived here from another country, or are here gathering information about our planet for The Big Giant Head, B.L.T. Stands for Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato- the key ingredients in the sandwich.

The B.L.T. isn’t just an easy nickname to remember, it’s also fun to say out loud.

Since it’s not usually on the menu, saying, “I’ll have the B.L.T.” makes you seem like a restaurant insider, akin to ordering an “Arnold Palmer” or a “Shirley Temple.”

Which returns me to the other popular, tasty, yet less aptly named sandwich: Subway’s “Italian B.M.T.”

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