Furmanifesto

The earliest people observed that our planet goes through seasonal changes because they noticed that the weather varied as they stayed rooted in the same geographic region.  Spending repeated time in a certain locations allows you to recognize repeatable patterns.

My wife and I fell in love at Disneyland, and since that day we’ve spent a lot of time at Disney theme parks.  It’s a place where spending constant time allows us to recognize and identify repetition.

I’ve discovered repeated patterns of dishonesty within the walls of the happiest place on earth. The most obvious are the lies told by the children who visit the park:

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One of the most fun things about the Post-Christmas/Pre-New Year’s time frame is the shopping that you get to do with the money you received through the mail from out-of-town relatives.

I remember that my Grandpa in Pennsylvania used to send me a post card with 4 quarters taped onto the back of it.

This may sound cheap now, but $1 of pre-Jimmy Carter era money could buy you a whole bag of Green Army Men and a pack of Fruit Stripe Gum.

We don’t send cash through the mail anymore, now we send people gift cards. Gift cards are a much safer way to make sure that someone gets the money you sent them and still feels special.

Or so we all like to think.

It’s the week after Christmas, or as I like to call it:

“The week you find out that no one will take your gift cards.”

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As the story is told, Dental Assistant Melissa Nelson had sex appeal in spades and her employer found it irresistible.

So he fired her.

America is now wondering whether or not this was fair, right, or legal.  We make the case for our opinion in this matter by making appeals to what we should have the right to do as men or women.

Does a man have the right to fire a woman in an effort to save his marriage?  Does a woman have the right to be beautiful and employed in the dental industry?

Before making brash statements about a situation like this it helps to do a little self check about what we believe about ourselves and other people.

1. Do I think that most women have a pretty good idea of how attractive they are?
2. Do I think that most women dress to “accentuate their positives and downplay their negatives”?
3. Do I think that most women enjoy being admired for, and complemented on, their appearances?

It’s not only probable that a reasonable person would answer yes to these questions, but that as a society we would also believe that these are perfectly normal and acceptable behaviors for either gender.

The second battery of questions is where things get a little trickier.

1. Do I believe that some people will be considered desirable regardless of what they wear?
2. Do I believe that a woman usually knows when a man is interested in her sexually?
3. Do I believe that a man will entertain as much mental fantasy as he can while still hoping to preserve his physical reality?

It’s not only possible that a reasonable person would answer yes to these questions, but that as a society we also tend to feign ignorance whenever the subtle nature of human flirtation and attraction gets us into trouble.

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