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What She Needs To Believe

This summer, in a strange “life imitating art” moment, the actors involved in the film version of America’s most celebrated supernatural love-triangle found themselves caught up in a Bizarre Love Triangle of their own.  It’s still a morass of beauty, secrecy, and self-deception.

If I’ve learned anything in my 38 years, it’s that the most powerful lies that we tell are quite often the ones that we believe ourselves.  Consider the lie on display in Kristen Stewart’s recent mea-culpa regarding her relational infidelity;

“…This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him… I’m so sorry.”

You might be wondering two things right now:

Where is the lie in the above statement, and how I know that a person that I’ve never met is lying?

To the first wonderment I’d suggest that the lie probably isn’t where you think it is, and to the second I’d say this, “You don’t have to know someone to recognize a lie; you only need to have been lied to.”

But first, let’s address the truth.


Blazing Spaghetti Bread

The Spaghetti Factory is one of my guilty pleasures.  I know that it’s not high-quality Italian food, but it’s better, faster, cheaper, and more fun than the majority of its competitors.  I say more fun because for some reason the folks behind Portland’s world-famous purveyor of pasta decided that they needed to build doors big enough to allow Hagrid entrance to their establishment.  Where else can you get to eat spaghetti and feel like you are visiting the set of “The Hobbit”?

I like to order salad with the creamy pesto, an iced tea, the Mizithra cheese or the meat sauce with zesty sausage, and finish it off with a rock hard scoop of spumoni.  For my money there’s only one problem with a visit to the Spaghetti Factory.

The Bread Course.

Now it’s not that the freshly baked loaf they bring to your table isn’t delicious.  It’s just that there’s absolutely no way to eat it.  The Spag Fac’s Achilles heel is delivered alongside your steaming bread and garlic butter.

It’s the world’s dullest knife.


Making It Personal


Sometimes you look at a document and recognize that even though the words are English, the language doesn’t make any sense.

If you’ve ever graded freshman composition essays or been served legal papers you know exactly what I’m talking about.

I’ve been served with official documents twice in my life and both times I’ve found myself especially grateful for lawyers and equally frustrated by them- Frustrated by the legal team pursuing my wallet and grateful for the lawyer who was looking out for me.


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