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Ads With Friends

Full Disclosure: I love playing Words With Friends but I’m not paying for the ad-free version.  This isn’t because I’m cheap (I’m actually more frivolous than I should be) it’s because the free version makes you look at a little advertisement between turns.

These ads are as bad, or worse, than the ones on Facebook.  They are so bad that I will often waste a turn by playing an inferior word so that I can see what terrible vision pops up next.

If I purchased the ad-free version, I’d miss out on half the fun of the game.  These ads are few of my faves:

Gold Mystery Bags!

I admit that when I saw this ad I did wonder, “What could possibly be in the Gold Mystery Bag?” and then  “What could be so rare that it is only available for one day?”

Then I got the ad for three consecutive days.

If it really is “worth it’s weight in gold” then I can only imagine that the bag might be filled with cotton candy …which could be tempting if we knew how big the bag was.

I may not know what IS in the bag, but I can guarantee what isn’t in there… Gold.





Only Girls Games

This ad starts off confusing and then gets creepy the more you think about it.

Are these games only FOR girls, or are they games that ONLY girls are allowed to play?

Are these scenes from 1 game or are there 6 different games?

Seems like the “Cake Game” or “Popstar Game” might not be as fun as “Eat The Face Off The Guy In The Playboy Shirt Game”… and a lot less wholesome.

If they ARE games that only girls are allowed to play it’s a shame, because that horse looks like he knows how to have a good time.


Anicent Rule

If you thought the “one weird old tip” to obey was old, wait till you get a load of the “Anicent Rule”.

How old is this 1 discovery?  So old that people hadn’t yet discovered how to spell the word “Ancient”.

I’m just glad that a kindly mom discovered it before someone looking to make money did!











Lower My Billz!

The crazy thing about the Fed slashing interest rates AGAIN is that this time they appear to have done it through some sort of computer generated aerobics program.

This could brings immediate relief to the thousands of us hoping to lower our interest rate AND cholesterol levels.

It really seems like Michelle Obama’s anti-burger campaign has finally found its footing within the Federal reserve.







iTriage

If you’ve ever woken up wondering if you were hung over, or pregnant, or both, the folks at GreyStripe have just the thing to help your phone figure it out for you!

As “professional” as the app looks on the phone, I still don’t trust the giant, red, DOWNLOAD NOW! command badge.

Is it possible that our health care crisis could be alleviated by a free ad-based app? Downloading the iTriage may be the only way to find out.







 She Lost 35Lbs

No “she” didn’t.  It’s not even close to being the same woman in both pictures!

I’m thinking that they were hoping the light green “weight loss arrows” would distract us from looking at their eyebrows… or their noses… or their eyes… or…

…THE FACT THAT THIS IS A PICTURE OF TWO WOMEN THAT HAS BEEN CUT IN HALF AND THEN THE HALVES HAVE BEEN SWAPPED!

Seriously, look behind the “After Girl” and you’ll see the yellow sleeve and arm of the “Before Girl”.




Indian Bride Makeover

The only way that this isn’t the most racist thing I’ve seen since an unfortunate childhood episode of Bugs Bunny is if this is a game for little girls in India… like the way “American Girl Doll Makeover” would be appropriate for little girls in America.

Since the copy isn’t written in Hindi or Urdu, and I was at a Church in America when I got this, I’m assuming that it’s just bigotry for fun… you know, like that show Outsourced.

I’d choose to believe the best about the developers, but it’s hard to when they named their company GAMENUTT.

If you have a words with friends ad that we should see, post it in the comment section!  Also… your commentary on the ad would be a nice addition.

When Adventureland Stinks

Have you ever considered just how powerful the Walt Disney corporation is?  On a truly global scale, they play a major role in shaping cultural attitudes and values at a level that not even public education can compete with.  For instance:

They have their own pronunciation of the word “Caribbean” and they’ve convinced you to use it.

When you look at a world map, or talk about taking a luxury cruise, you pronounce Caribbean the way the British Empire intended when they ruled the earth; you say it with the emphasis on the RIBB portion on the word.  You say “Ca-RIBB-ian”.

But the minute you set foot in a Disney Theme Park or movie theater you immediately begin pronouncing it like the name of the Disney ride; with an emphasis on the BE-IN part of the word.  You say “Care-A-BE-IN.”

While there is no official pronunciation of the word in a real world context (it can vary from Island to Island) there absolutely IS a correct pronunciation of the word in the Disney context.

If you don’t believe me, try announcing to your friends that you’re headed over to ride the “Pirates of the Ca-RIBB-ian” and watch what happens; people snap their heads around to identify the “idiot foreigner” who, quite probably, also has no idea that $9 is a reasonable price for a churro.

The ability to create an artificial environment of agreement where agreement does not naturally exist is a true demonstration of power.

Despite their considerable power I will tell you what Disney can’t do.

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Bicycle Envy

In the 1980’s I took a job with the “liberal media”, It was an important role with the publishers of the Los Angeles Herald Examiner.  I worked in distribution; the main focus of my work was getting our information into the hands of the common man as close to 6 A.M. as possible.

When I took the job there were only two things you needed to be a good paperboy: A reliable alarm, and a working bicycle.  I had recently come into possession of a fine Casio AM/FM clock radio with combination snooze and light bar, and I was already the proud owner of a “ten-speed”.

Handed down to me from my father, by way of my brother, in the ancient tradition of the lost North American paperboys, my ten-speed was a thing of beauty.  It was a bright red American Flyer with a water bottle holder, optional spoke reflectors, and curved ram’s horn handlebars wrapped in supple, top grade, black leather… ette.

I never doubted the adequacy of my occupational transportation until one crisp, autumn morning when I saw John Pletsch pedaling my direction.  John delivered The Valley Press, a regional paper (and a real piece of fish wrap if you ask me).  That morning he seemed to float past me, comfortably seated atop the most remarkable contraption I’d ever seen: an eighteen-speed mountain bike.

I’d never previously considered delivering newspapers in the mountains, but I knew that if I came across a mountain in suburban Los Angeles, my ten-speed would never cut it.

I was instantly filled with envy.

Never minding the fact that I’d shifted gears maybe twice in my three years of pedaling through subdivisions, I arrived home for breakfast thoroughly dissatisfied with my inexcusably deficient bike. (more…)

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