Furmanifesto

I’ve watched a lot of people gripe at Disneyland.  If I had to rank the adult grievances about Disney Parks I’d certainly place “expense” in the number one spot and “kids whining” at number 2.

Number three would probably be “It’s A Small World” though.

For my money “Small World” is the most polarizing feature of The Happiest Place On Earth.  People seem to either love it or hate it.  I’ve found that many of the “haters” also feel the need to be excessively vocal with their derision of the ride.  I usually overhear at least one conversation per visit to the park in which someone rails against “Small World” as if it is one of the world’s great evils.

Sometimes mom’s announce that they “don’t want that dang song in my head all day” or kids announce that they’re “too grown to be seen in that ride”.  I’ve actually heard one father* tell his children that the “overriding ‘secular humanist’ message of the ride is in conflict with our Christian beliefs.”

The casual listener can probably leave fantasy land with the idea that few people truly enjoy Walt Disney’s “It’s A Small World”.  This isn’t to say that people don’t ride “It’s a Small World”; quite often the line for the attraction is as long as many of the other rides at the Disney parks.  It’s just to say that the ride seems mostly targeted to impress very young children or optimistic racial profilers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an IASW “hater”. I ride it whenever it’s open.  This is because I’ve noticed that the ride does offer some very specific perks:

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With this month’s revelation of a new famous and successful girlfriend, the world’s number one ranking, and a renewed Nike campaign, the platform for the restoration/rehabilitation of Tiger Woods appears to be nearly completed.

The only piece left now is a win at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia next week.

With a win, Tiger will be welcomed back to the talk shows and sports highlights for something other than the personal scandal that took an enormous toll on his professional life.  All of which makes his new Nike campaign so fitting, if not mildly controversial.

With the launch of the new Nike campaign, commentators are beginning to question whether or not “Winning takes care of everything” is an appropriate motto, especially for someone whose personal life was a mess- while he was winning.

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My wife and I hosted a Kenyan pastor in our home about two years ago.  He was incredibly funny and intelligent, spoke 4 languages fluently, and could read ancient Hebrew and Greek.  This guy was also massive, about 6 foot 3 and about 230 lbs.

He travelled through the veld from village to village starting churches and training pastors.  Not only was he big, but this guy was also fearless.  He walked through bush country filled with snakes and lions and warthogs to get from place to place.

He arrived at our house late at night and went to bed. My wife told him that breakfast would be at 8 AM and that we would see him in the morning.

At 7:59 he came cruising down the staircase for breakfast, but when he got to bottom step he squealed like a little girl and just about broke his own legs trying to run back up the stairs on his hands and feet.

My wife and I were shocked and I had to go up and get him to come down to eat.  He wouldn’t come downstairs because he had seen something in our house that terrified him.  Do you know what he saw?

He saw our dog lying in front of the fireplace.

He wouldn’t come downstairs until we took the dog and put her in the garage.  You’ve probably guessed that Janelle and I have a pretty ferocious dog right?  We do, we have one of those dog breeds that people are pretty nervous about.

Our dog Feebee is a Beagle.

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