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Reaching Your Key Players

It’s rare that a movie about sports is actually very good. For every “Hoosiers” and “Rudy” there are countless bombs like Caddyshack II, The Air Up There, and Rocky V.

Movies about sports are usually terrible because the production company has to find good actors who are also good athletes.

This is harder than it sounds because in high school; the people on stage for the sophomore production of “Twelfth Night” are very rarely the same people receiving varsity letters for wrestling.

Because of this challenge, sports movies often tip in one of two directions; well acted films filled with overly choreographed, turbocharged sports montages (The Blind Side) or believable action sequences tastefully rendered against a backdrop of acting makes the “Mighty Ducks” look like a shoe-in for the Palme D’or.

“The Cutting Edge” anybody?

On the outside chance that a casting director can find someone with the ability to act AND punch at Hilary Swank levels, they still have to pair them with a good director and a great script… which only guarantees that a picture can still be as bad as “He Got Game”.

Which is why I didn’t go see Moneyball when it hit theaters last fall.

It didn’t help that I didn’t have a good feeling about the actors involved in the movie.

When I found out that Jonah Hill would be starring in a movie that wasn’t supposed to be funny, I figured I’d skip it, because I saw a movie where Jonah Hill was trying to be funny and it turned out to be “Evan Almighty”.

When you couple that with the understanding that there are only two kinds of Brad Pitt movies;

A.) Constantly eating snacks and taking his shirt off movies
“Ocean’s 11-13”, “Troy”, “Fight Club…”

Or

2.) Making women cry movies
“Meet Joe Black’s Legend of the Tree of Buttons…”

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The B.M.T. Stands For?

You and I have misjudged a sandwich or two in our lifetimes haven’t we?

I found out just the other day that I’m not too old for a P.B.&.J.. It was delicious!

I also learned recently that, for years, I’ve been misjudging the B.M.T. This is typical, but it certainly doesn’t have to happen.

The B.M.T. isn’t at all like the B.L.T.

You’ve no doubt had a B.L.T. sandwich. You probably found it to be delicious, mostly because of the B, the L, and the T.

If you’ve just recently arrived here from another country, or are here gathering information about our planet for The Big Giant Head, B.L.T. Stands for Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato- the key ingredients in the sandwich.

The B.L.T. isn’t just an easy nickname to remember, it’s also fun to say out loud.

Since it’s not usually on the menu, saying, “I’ll have the B.L.T.” makes you seem like a restaurant insider, akin to ordering an “Arnold Palmer” or a “Shirley Temple.”

Which returns me to the other popular, tasty, yet less aptly named sandwich: Subway’s “Italian B.M.T.”

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What We Want To Believe

Sometimes a lie is so believable that it makes a fool out of a lot of people.  You’ve probably joined me in repeating a lie (or forwarding an email lie) because it seemed credible to you, only to have a friend direct you to Snopes.com.

I’ve found that the best lies get retold because not only do they “seem” true, they make sense to us based upon our perception of life experiences.  For instance:

I keep getting forwarded emails that encourage me to refuse the new “golden dollar coins”… because they do not say “In God We Trust” on them.

The emails claim that “liberals”, “Muslims”, “secular humanists”, and or “the Jews” (depending on the version) have been trying to eliminate God from our lives for years, and now that Barak Osama has been elected president, they’ve finally begun the next phase of their devious plan.

The removal of “God” from our money.

Individuals frustrated by the fading homogeny of our culture are quick to use the absence of “In God We Trust” from the face of the golden dollar coin to point out that “They’ve been right” all of these years, and now “the unthinkable has happened!”.

The only problem is that careful inspection of the coin reveals that our government has gone to the added expense of inscribing “In God We Trust” onto the outer edge of each and every golden dollar coin in circulation.

The email, trumpeting the righteous indignation of the true believer, also remains in circulation.  It’s an embarrassing reminder of how easy it is to manipulate people into believing something that they already want to believe.

Like the lie that Taco Bell meat isn’t really meat.

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