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Planning For… The Contractually Obligated Awkwardness

AP/Chevrolet

At the end of Superbowl 5, Dallas Cowboy linebacker Chuck Howley drove off the field in a brand new car.

Ever since that day Superbowl MVPs have been treated to a string of incentives including cash, usually $5,000, and vacations, typically to a Walt Disney park.  The fêteing of the games Most Valuable Player has become something of a Superbowl tradition.  Who can forget hearing Joe Montana announce, during the 49’ers moment of ultimate victory, that he was on his way to Disneyland?

All of that tradition was derailed this Sunday when Eli Manning, the Giant’s Quarterback and deserving MVP, was faced with a proposition like no other MVP has.

He won a car that he isn’t allowed to drive.

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You Don’t Hate Brady’s Game…

Let’s get a few things straight about Tom Brady. He’s really good looking. I don’t mean attractive, I mean that he’s good looking enough that your eyes don’t naturally “bounce off” of him after spotting him.

Aside from having a square jaw and a noble forehead, Brady also has straight teeth and a head of hair thick enough to make a Baldwin look like a Bolton. He’s also 6’4″, and has the forearms of a pipe fitter.

He’s so handsome that you can photograph him with a goat and still sell the pictures for money.

That’s not to say that he’s often photographed with unattractive creatures. Generally he’s photographed alongside his ridiculously good looking wife, who just happens to be celebrated internationally for helping Victoria become the world’s worst kept secret.

They are both successful, wealthy, and powerful in their own right. Together they are an empire of fashion, beauty, and fortune. They are the American equivalent of David and Victoria Beckham.

Which is why it’s interesting that much of America is not thrilled with the prospect that Tom Brady might win his fourth Super Bowl today. In fact, the pairing of Brady’s New England Patriots versus the New York Giants in Super Bowl 46 has been met with nearly 2 weeks of underwhelming malaise.

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A Different State Of Mind

Throughout much of the 1930’s the people living along the border of Oregon and California found themselves mired in a fairly frustrating existence.

The borderland wasn’t just timber country, it was still quite literally a frontier.

The loggers, miners and farmers who worked the land did so with very basic services and government infrastructure.

If the Great Depression ensured that America’s cities foundered in their desire for growth, it guaranteed that the Northwest had a better chance of snaring bigfoot than getting the traction needed for forward progress.

Consistent electrical service was rare and, aside from the major interstate highways, most roads were merely packed gravel and oil pathways which quickly turned to mud during the abundant seasonal rainstorms.

By the late 1930’s the region’s wood, mineral, and agricultural industries began to recover from the effects of the depression.

The state taxes that flowed into the coffers of Salem and Sacramento began to improve conditions just about everywhere in the state….

…except in the borderlands.

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