We are entering the busiest stretch of the entire year; the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas where an epic amount of activity will be attempted by over-stressed humans on behalf of… someone else.
Thanksgiving is over.
The Christmas season is starting to feel real now isn’t it? Pretty soon you’ll be traveling to visit family. Those of you with long distances to travel will of course be flying. I recently flew Southwest Airlines for the first time because I heard that bags fly free.
What is it about flying Southwest Airlines that turns people into complete animals?
I’m pretty sure that it’s that open seating policy. Having just flown, I would suggest to you that that’s not a policy- it’s a guarantee. A guarantee that you are going to get pushed and shoved all of the way down an aisle as you look for a seat.
It all starts with the anxiety laden line-up by those odd metal poles. Everybody there is waiting for their chance to break from the gate like greyhounds after a mechanical rabbit.
Sometimes you can get into a really bad situation while boarding a Southwest flight. This happens when they board from the front AND the back door of the plane at the same time. Now the people sprinting onto the tarmac have a choice between two flights of stairs that they’ll run up.
I wasn’t aware that I would needed to stretch before the boarding process began.
Once you choose a door and get inside the plane you are now running at full speed towards a wall of people while the guy behind you is yelling and shoving you to move faster. It’s like a scene from Braveheart, but nobody told you to bring a broadsword instead of a boarding pass.
I guess I should expect this from an airline whose slogan is “Grab your bag, it’s on!”
The prize that everyone is racing for is an aisle seat. The aisle seat is that coveted spot on the plane where you get some extra space, on one side of you, to get away from the sweaty, filthy, disgusting animal that just shoved you down the aisle, and will now plop down next to you. You know, the guy who, even though bags fly free, decided to check nothing.
The ironic twist is that you fought and pushed and struggled to get comfortable space to put your arm and leg into, only to have them both ripped of by a flight attendant traveling 60 mph down the aisle with a beverage cart.
It could be worse; you could be that poor sap who has to sit in the middle seat because his wife chose a window seat! That guy had his whole pick of seats all over the plane, but now he gets to sit right next to a person in what could have been “his” aisle seat. (more…)