Bewitching or Bewildering?


Photo: Wicked Productions

A few years back, something that I’m not entirely comfortable with seems to have happened to Halloween.

I’m going to guess somewhere around the year 1998, or as I call it, “the bitter end of the Baywatch Era”, it became completely unacceptable for a woman to attend a costume party dressed as the wholesome version of anything.

It used to be that there were just a few brazen “Halloween Cliches” to avoid at a masquerade, but it appears that now pirate, superhero, and “educational professional” have also been claimed by the fashion designers who brought us The Mistress of the Dark.

It’s almost impossible to find a witch costume that Glinda would be ok with.

I understand that each of us has a choice about how we celebrate on All Hallows Eve, and there are some ladies out there who like to show up at the office party dressed as a provocateur, but can the rest of us please resist the urge to accompany our kids on their Trick-or-Treat outing in these kinds of costumes?

It’s super uncomfortable to open your front door, distribute candy to the neighbor kid, and then wave goodbye to a mother dressed as Catwoman at the end of your driveway.

Ladies, when we bump into you at the neighborhood mailbox won’t it be really awkward if the last time we saw you, you were dressed as a Pirate Wench?

I know we’re supposed to act like it’s no big deal that you have decided to step out in a lacy Ninja Turtle Costume with knee-length boots, but didn’t you put that costume on to get attention?

Trust me, it’s the kind of attention that your kids, your spouse, and the other wives are embarrassed about you chasing.

So maybe wear something like that for the person who is supposed to be giving you that kind of attention, and give everybody else a break.

We don’t need to have a tainted mental image of you… or Wilma Flintstone.

I’m not saying that Halloween means you should be dowdy or frumpy.

I’m encouraging you to dress up and stay beautiful, not undress to get looks.

Remember that true beauty is always the result of substance, not skin.

People have more respect for Elphaba than they do Elvira.

Hope in the Void


A week ago I watched Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity, a film about several astronauts desperately trying to survive a catastrophe that takes place in outer space.

I’ve been thinking about the movie a lot this week, and it isn’t due to the movie’s profound technical achievements.

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Making It Last



There are a few things that you can count on when flying certain airlines. For instance, flying Alaska means that you’ll get a card featuring Old Testament scripture with your meal, flying United means that you probably won’t be flying direct, and flying Southwest means that someone is going to try to make the in-flight announcements “entertaining”.

My favorite thing about flying Delta?

A little caramel biscuit called “Biscoff”.

During the inflight service you get one packet containing two biscuits, or as I call it, a little trip to paradise.  The Biscoff is so delicious that they don’t just give them out indiscriminately,  you’ve got to make those babies last an entire flight.

What I’ve learned is that if you bring some mini-Snickers you can usually bribe the kids sitting around you into a trade.

Recently I wandered into my friend Matt’s office and discovered that he had AN ENTIRE BOX of Biscoff biscuits.

My first thought was to take the biscuits and run.

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