What do YOU hate about the right hand column?

Attention Mark Zuckerberg, I hate the Facebook right hand column.

I don’t hate it because it’s all advertisements, on the contrary, advertisements are fascinating to me.  I don’t hate it because it’s expanding like a Gremlin in a microwave, crowding out such beloved Facebook chatskis as “Pieces of Flair” or “Mafia Wars”.  I hate it because it may be the least intelligent marketing currently at work in this solar system… and this is a planet that still employs telemarketers.

Sometimes the ads are spelled terribly or make no sense whatsoever. I’m pretty sure that these ads are being copy-written by someone who employs English as a fourth or fifth language. I submit to you the exquisitely crafted “Best Products All” that appeared on my page yesterday:


This is the “worstest” attempt at legibility that I have “even seen all” since Miss Teen South Carolina helped us locate “the Iraq.”
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Weird Stuff… Strikes Back

Hawk Weed

The guy driving this dirty ride loves weed AND the Seahawks.  I’m sure that he used the team colors to accent his leaf for “medicinal” purposes only.

Qwest Field
Seattle, Wa

BM

Under no circumstances is this an acceptable brand name for baked beans.

Winco Foods
Tigard, Or.

calfmilk

I may only be a “city mouse”, but I’m pretty sure that this is more of a product description than a brand name.

Oregon State Fair
Salem, Or.

Approved Workmen

Sometimes you hear something so often that you begin to believe it… whether or not it’s true.

While that sounds like a great opening line for disagreeing with the artistic supremacy of Vampire Weekend or the commercial appeal of Steve Buscemi, those targets are just too easy. I’m taking on the 1960’s.

When you think Peace and Love you don’t just think of the 1960’s, you actually see Volkswagen vans and love beads in your metaphysical mind’s eye don’t you. I think that’s all garbage. In my opinion, the ’60’s get the credit for bringing the world together when all it really did was the come up with idea.  Don’t get me wrong, the ’60’s wanted to buy the world a Coke, but it didn’t exactly get up off it’s afghan blanket and reach for it’s wallet.

The 1970’s bought the world a Coke.

It’s probably Time/Life magazine’s fault, but we’ve fallen under the spell of the decade that came up with the idea as we laugh at the decade that did all of the work.
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