The Weaker Sex

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A few days ago a Facebook friend pointed out this very insightful and disturbing article about the overwhelming ratio of males to females involved in mass shootings and gun violence.

The author’s point was that males turn emotional wounding and physical isolation into violence at a rate significantly higher than females.

It brought to mind a PBS documentary that I watched a few years ago called “Raising Cain”.  In the film the documentarians examine the high emotional need of male infants when compared against female infants and correlated this to the generalized anger and frustration that develops in a boy when these needs are not met through abuse or neglect.

The idea that boys have less need emotionally and should be left alone to “simmer down” in a setting where they will not be embarrassed by their tears, springs from watching the behavior of adult males who actually understand how to identify and process their emotions.  This is something they learned from parents who nurtured them as opposed to abandoning them.

Since The Legacy of Divorce was published in 2001 we have been coming to the understanding that the last 25 years have been spent reaping the whirlwind of abandonment that children who lose access to their parents brings.

Most boys lose consistent access to their fathers in a divorce.

Most suburban boys lose access to their fathers because of work.

For many of today’s boys, leaving them alone doesn’t ensure that they will process their emotions, in fact boys who have suffered from neglectful parenting generally use this time to hide their emotions and self-medicate.

Enter the video games.

Video Games are not only capable of distracting boys from the problematic world that they live in, they also offering an alternate world where both control and success can be guaranteed through repetition.

Most everyone understands that video games are not reality,  but what most adults don’t understand is that the artificial reality of video games is actually preferable to reality for a suffering child.

The problem isn’t the video game; game dependency is simply the thermometer that tells you exactly how sick an individual is.  The same can be true with Manga, online gambling, pornography, fantasy literature, and co-dependent relationships.

Video games, and the like, aren’t bad diversions for a kid who doesn’t suffer from emotional constipation, but they are deadly for a person of any age who doesn’t know how, or possess the tools, to identify, process, and release their emotions.

Paying attention to the escapist desires of our children, and refusing to indulge them at unacceptable levels, becomes essential to preventing the emotional frustration and physical isolation that promotes a lack of empathy.

Empathy is developed when the healthy emotional processing of our own suffering leads us to understand and sympathize with the suffering we see in others.

The distinct lack of empathy demonstrated by each of the males involved in the mass slaughter of innocent bystanders is one of the strongest factors connecting each of their individual crimes together.

Abandonment leads to frustration, frustration gives way to self-medication, self-medication brings isolation, isolation inhibits empathy, and it’s the absence of empathy that opens the door for wholesale male aggression.

All of which leads me to believe that our age-old assertion that women are the “weaker sex” is something that is probably only true in the physical sense of the word.

I’m not saying that I’m an expert on the emotional development of boys, nor am I saying that assertively leading your children through their emotional frustrations will stop mass shootings.

I’m encouraging you to examine the statistics and investigate the resources at your disposal.


My opinion in the matter might be wrong,

But either way your kid’s life gets significantly better.

2 Responses to “The Weaker Sex”

  1. Brian P January 16, 2013 at 8:55 am #

    This was a really insightful post, thanks Jon

  2. Rick March 7, 2013 at 5:15 pm #

    Divorce is a Rampant Epidemic especially when the government & military is behind it!

    I went to a father’s group in Texas (just north of Fort Hood) where some ex-military west pointer gave some real eye-opening comments. He basically said that the current Divorce process, legislation, court system and military is all one scheme that was put in play around early 1960‘s. It was put in place for the Vietnam War, that’s when the divorce’s started to sky-rocket across the country (Google statistics). That in addition it was also designed to be one huge cash-cow to lure greedy lawyers to facilitate and destroy more families on the civilian side to get enough statistics to make it comparable to the military statistics. However the military numbers are still much higher. That is why they then modified the scheme to use on police nationwide to raise the civilian stats. It is designed to send single male soldiers to war and deny ex-wives any financial support that was initially and may still be coming from the military/ pentagon’s money pockets. To the military, the soldiers wives are expendable as are the soldiers and also their children! Less money the military spends on wives, kids, ex-soldiers, etc the less they have for their drones, guns, or bullets. The scheme is very very complicated but based on very slow very subtle psy-ops brainwashing tactics. He said that any Freedom of Information request will gradually reveal key pieces of data that when analyzed together with confirm all this. This the reason why the pentagon does not want to release documents related to divorce. Part of the even bigger Military-Industrial complex.

    Basically makes wives and soldier fight and hate each other. The scheme basically exploits women’s emotional traits to spread itself to other victims. The media contributes to the fear mongering and makes things worst. Fear (PTSD etc) makes women fear for their safety thus they then go pleading to the oh so willing authorities who provide them with military issued cookie cutter divorce packets to take to a civilian lawyer. They do this to hide where the process initially starts.

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