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Making Summer Better

death_star

Summer is rough on adults.  When you’re a kid, society gives you the opportunity to take advantage of the weather by taking away the school work that you’re supposed to be doing.  Unfortunately, adults are still expected to look at an 84 degree day and decide to put on a tie and go to work.

Recently I had a few ideas that I believe would instantly make summer living even more incredible than it already is.  I’m pretty busy with my obligations right now but I know that many of you have some free time, so if you’re bored and you have skills, here are some things to try:

Thicker Bread On An Ice Cream Sandwich
There’s just something awesome about an ice cream sandwich and it isn’t the vanilla ice cream is it? No, it’s that incredibly cheap chocolate type food-product surrounding the ice cream.  The only way to actually improve an ice cream sandwich, without turning it into something else, is to increase the amount of chocolate “bread” available.

I decided to test this, but do you know where they sell ice cream sandwich “bread”?  They aren’t selling it anywhere people.  I don’t even think anyone knows what it’s made of; is it cake, cookie, or cracker?  All I know is that as the ice cream melts, the chocolate gets softer and softer eventually leaving you with a chocolate fingerprint on your thumb and index finger… and licking that off, that’s the essence of summer.

If you work in the ice cream industry, solving this problem will probably be the food equivalent of landing a man on the moon; an incredible human achievement that won’t make you rich.  Please don’t let this stop you from doing this for mankind.

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Ads With Friends

Full Disclosure: I love playing Words With Friends but I’m not paying for the ad-free version.  This isn’t because I’m cheap (I’m actually more frivolous than I should be) it’s because the free version makes you look at a little advertisement between turns.

These ads are as bad, or worse, than the ones on Facebook.  They are so bad that I will often waste a turn by playing an inferior word so that I can see what terrible vision pops up next.

If I purchased the ad-free version, I’d miss out on half the fun of the game.  These ads are few of my faves:

Gold Mystery Bags!

I admit that when I saw this ad I did wonder, “What could possibly be in the Gold Mystery Bag?” and then  “What could be so rare that it is only available for one day?”

Then I got the ad for three consecutive days.

If it really is “worth it’s weight in gold” then I can only imagine that the bag might be filled with cotton candy …which could be tempting if we knew how big the bag was.

I may not know what IS in the bag, but I can guarantee what isn’t in there… Gold.





Only Girls Games

This ad starts off confusing and then gets creepy the more you think about it.

Are these games only FOR girls, or are they games that ONLY girls are allowed to play?

Are these scenes from 1 game or are there 6 different games?

Seems like the “Cake Game” or “Popstar Game” might not be as fun as “Eat The Face Off The Guy In The Playboy Shirt Game”… and a lot less wholesome.

If they ARE games that only girls are allowed to play it’s a shame, because that horse looks like he knows how to have a good time.


Anicent Rule

If you thought the “one weird old tip” to obey was old, wait till you get a load of the “Anicent Rule”.

How old is this 1 discovery?  So old that people hadn’t yet discovered how to spell the word “Ancient”.

I’m just glad that a kindly mom discovered it before someone looking to make money did!











Lower My Billz!

The crazy thing about the Fed slashing interest rates AGAIN is that this time they appear to have done it through some sort of computer generated aerobics program.

This could brings immediate relief to the thousands of us hoping to lower our interest rate AND cholesterol levels.

It really seems like Michelle Obama’s anti-burger campaign has finally found its footing within the Federal reserve.







iTriage

If you’ve ever woken up wondering if you were hung over, or pregnant, or both, the folks at GreyStripe have just the thing to help your phone figure it out for you!

As “professional” as the app looks on the phone, I still don’t trust the giant, red, DOWNLOAD NOW! command badge.

Is it possible that our health care crisis could be alleviated by a free ad-based app? Downloading the iTriage may be the only way to find out.







 She Lost 35Lbs

No “she” didn’t.  It’s not even close to being the same woman in both pictures!

I’m thinking that they were hoping the light green “weight loss arrows” would distract us from looking at their eyebrows… or their noses… or their eyes… or…

…THE FACT THAT THIS IS A PICTURE OF TWO WOMEN THAT HAS BEEN CUT IN HALF AND THEN THE HALVES HAVE BEEN SWAPPED!

Seriously, look behind the “After Girl” and you’ll see the yellow sleeve and arm of the “Before Girl”.




Indian Bride Makeover

The only way that this isn’t the most racist thing I’ve seen since an unfortunate childhood episode of Bugs Bunny is if this is a game for little girls in India… like the way “American Girl Doll Makeover” would be appropriate for little girls in America.

Since the copy isn’t written in Hindi or Urdu, and I was at a Church in America when I got this, I’m assuming that it’s just bigotry for fun… you know, like that show Outsourced.

I’d choose to believe the best about the developers, but it’s hard to when they named their company GAMENUTT.

If you have a words with friends ad that we should see, post it in the comment section!  Also… your commentary on the ad would be a nice addition.

Return of the Weird Stuff

Green Stuff

This probably should have been called “Green Stuff”?  How about, “Purple Stuff, now available in green!”?

ABC Store
Lahaina, Maui

guns

I did a “walk by” on this booth (you just don’t casually photograph a man offering an assault rifle as a voter registration initiative) not because guns were being advertised, but because the republican representative on the right was wearing a union t-shirt.  I’m still looking for pieces of my mind…

Commercial Exhibit Booth
Oregon State Fair, Salem, Or.

BruceWayNE

Score one for the Bat-Fans…

Costco Parking Lot
Wilsonville, Or.

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